Anti-employment resource

This is a list of ways to lose a job, quit, or avoid getting hired.

We compiled a list because we sympathize with people who hate their jobs and want to offer them ways out of their hateful, bitter lifestyle.

  1. Tell your boss to go fuck himself
  2. Win the lottery
  3. Learn to hunt, cook and grind
  4. Drive with UBER
  5. Move to Alaska
  6. Give your kids up for adoption
  7. Sell your car
  8. Post your opinion on social media (such as Yelp)
  9. Call in sick and again, and again
  10. Tell your doctor you want to stay home and jerk off to porn
  11. Bring a pillow to your desk or work site, sleep on it
  12. Wear inappropriate attire or take off your protective gear
  13. Actually do something on your “off days”
  14. Read a book about getting rich, or retiring or something that masturbates your ego
  15. If you’re still reading, you are hopeless.

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