This is a list of ways to lose a job, quit, or avoid getting hired.
We compiled a list because we sympathize with people who hate their jobs and want to offer them ways out of their hateful, bitter lifestyle.
- Tell your boss to go fuck himself
- Win the lottery
- Learn to hunt, cook and grind
- Drive with UBER
- Move to Alaska
- Give your kids up for adoption
- Sell your car
- Post your opinion on social media (such as Yelp)
- Call in sick and again, and again
- Tell your doctor you want to stay home and jerk off to porn
- Bring a pillow to your desk or work site, sleep on it
- Wear inappropriate attire or take off your protective gear
- Actually do something on your “off days”
- Read a book about getting rich, or retiring or something that masturbates your ego
- If you’re still reading, you are hopeless.